JETHRO HOROWITZ

After reading numerous internet poker blogs, I am inspired to write a new year’s resolution list. The most common goal is to win millions of dollars by playing x amount of hands. I could definitely write the same goals because winning millions is easy and I am awesome. These are my goals:

1. Have a net worth of $50 million by the end of the year
2. Bed a girl from a stare alone.
3. Show more naked chest at the poker table, and in every day life.
4. Be more like patrik Antonius.

This week I bought a couple of shares in metal producing companies. I figured I’d ride the mini commodity boom. I was happy until the newspaper released Chinese and Australian construction figures which translated into nobody needing metal anymore. I’m scared of what’s going to happen on Monday. I should probably be reading more of James Cox’s financial blog or Bloomberg.

I also went to Crown for a week of soul sucking fun. I write this entry not 10 minutes after my $1,100 NLH knockout. I went in with a solid strategy which I precisely stuck to; make a couple of failed moves, dribble away until I bust on a coin-flip. Tournament poker is not rigged.

Yesterday, in the hotel, I played online all day and night until my eyes began to bleed. Out of the sheer guilt of coming to Melbourne and not leaving my room, I dragged myself to the poker room to ‘play some cards’ (said in a Teddy KGB accent). I looked at the list of games and saw there was absolutely nothing I could possibly play; no omaha8 or stud8. There was a 10-20 limit Omaha game I somehow got dragged into like a crippled elephant into the jaws of a puma. The struggle was epic.

Seated at the table were a mixture of up and coming hot shots and cranky old farts. The old guys provided me with a level of amusement they’ll never know. I began to play every hand in hope of causing cranky fuck heart failure which would surely push me over the edge of pleasure. Unfortunately, it never came.

On Monday I have the Omaha hilo event which I am almost certainly going to win again. Ship It!

This entry was posted on Saturday, January 10th, 2009 at 3:17 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.