JETHRO HOROWITZ

I’ve been doing some thinking about the decline of the World Poker Tour and the tournament professional. My idea involves getting together all the tournament professionals for a one night only tournament. The buy in: each player’s net worth. The prize for each final table player is: life. The consequence for the bust-outs: a soothing bullet to the head.

When I’m not thinking of ways to improve the poker world, I’m taking accountancy tests. As I sat and studied in the deserted library on a Tuesday night, I couldn’t help but think how glamorous it would be to travel the world playing poker tournaments.

Also, I’d just like to say how discriminatory this university is. Butterflies like me weren’t meant to be caged in ink and concrete. They have to figure out a new way to teach me this stuff without forcing me into lecture theatres and exam rooms.

Winter is finally over and I’ve managed not to get sick. My secret to healthy living is to hock up the flem produced from hanging around sick people and to spit it in their eyes.

Finally, I saw the film The Happening:

Wow, what the fuck is wrong with M. Night Shaymalan? How does he get the right to produce this cinematic disgrace? Granted the man wrote the 6th sense. However, he should have had his hands melted off as soon as he finished the last word to that brilliant screenplay.

The film revolves around the idea that plants are taking revenge on humans by making them kill themselves. Pretty boy Marky Mark Wahlberg is a science teacher who has to use his powers of scientific reasoning to protect his girlfriend and an annoying little girl. This film makes me really think about the environment and how we should kill more of it so this never happens.

Dumb Soldier: What is happening?
Marky Mark: I don’t know what is happening
Dumb soldier: Whatever is happening, it is bad.
Marky Mark: But why is it happening?

Thanks M. Night. Shaymalan, you get 0 stars.

This entry was posted on Monday, September 22nd, 2008 at 2:37 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.