Fold It In
Some people need fancy maids and American king size beds with satin sheets to be happy. Not me brother, not me.
I give it all up for this:
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And it only costs me $420/week
My biggest problem since moving back to Sydney from the Philippines, is the cold weather. But I now know what I need to do. Just outside my room is a big Mac Donald’s. Without fail, every time I walk past, there is at least one short, fat girl in tracksuit pants and trainers standing outside sipping a milkshake. What I plan to do, is get myself one for my room.
Before I leave for class, I just need to walk over to Mac Donald’s and carry one of these girls over to my room and place her in the middle of my floor. The idea is that when I return, my little room will be enveloped in a special cosy warmth which can only be produced from sweat suit strained, bloated folds.
I know, I know what you’re thinking. ‘But Jethro, won’t this make your room stink of Mac Donald’s and shit?’ I’ve thought about this problem for some time now, and I think the best way to combat this is to feed her candy, in particular watermelon Jolly Ranchers.
When I’m not thinking of ways to re-decorate my room, I watch DVD’s.My favourite flick this week was:
All In: 
Just when I thought I saw every poker film, I stumbled across this little gem at my new local. The film taught me a lot about poker and life.
-Incredibly hot women are good at poker.
-You can win a satellite even if you come second. Put on a sad face so that the guy who wins it gives you the 10k seat for free.
-26 off suit > flopped set.
-Getting to the final table with all the main characters happens all the time.
-Getting heads up, father vs. daughter for $5 million is easy.
-The secret to poker (which was a main point in the story – although never revealed) I deduced was to out draw your opponents with running gutshot gutshots.
-Having a team of college kids to help you calculate the odds and decipher poker tells is the key to becoming a winning poker player.
-Acting dumb and hot, along with your team will help you win with AA vs JJ, AK and TQ on a AKJ board.
Also, due to product placement and constant reminders throughout the film, I want to play on partypoker.com again.
Film 0-10. Poker lessons 10/10. Michelle Lombardo 10/10.
August 11th, 2008 at 10:18 pm
Your room is disgusting. Is that a bottle filled with urine?
August 12th, 2008 at 2:46 am
My room is awesome. No piss in that bottle. I do not condone such behaviour.
Also, in answer to your last question - there are some hawt chix in college.
August 12th, 2008 at 10:53 am
Well damn, hit that, man.
August 13th, 2008 at 8:57 pm
You reckon you can bluff any of them into your bedroom?
August 25th, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Tell your new oversized bedroom gnome that there’s a Macca’s voucher up there that way you won’t need to hire a trolly or someone to help you get her up the stairs.