Iron Medicine
Last year I graduated from my medical degree by attending 7 seasons of Scrubs. This year, I’ve decided to do some post-grad in diagnostic medicine by studying 4 seasons of House M.D. I’m half way through and already feel comfortable enough to start my own practice or at least be in charge of a small wing at a major hospital.
From what I learnt, medicine is awesome and pretty much anyone can do it. So I decided to give my local medical college a call.
Jethro: Hi, I’m interested in doing medicine, what exactly is involved?
Girl: What?
Jethro: Yea, I’ve watched the full season of Scrubs and am half way through House M.D. I’m pretty sure I know what’s going on. Where do I sign up?
Girl: What did you get in your Gamsat exam?
Jethro: Gam-what?
Girl: Graduate Admission Medical School Admissions Test.
Jethro: Yea, ok, I’ll look into it. What else is involved?
Girl: You need to have gotten exceptional grades in your undergraduate degree.
Jethro: How about a pass average?
Girl: *pause* You also need to show genuine human compassion by doing volunteer work. How many years have you done?
Jethro: I once volunteered to collect money at my school on Red Nose day… But that was only to get out of class.
Girl: *sigh* I don’t think I can help you.
Jethro: Thank you very much.
So if I wasn’t going to spend the next 8 years in medical school. I thought about what else I could do. WSOP was an option, especially since I won a free ticket to the States in the Inter Casino promotion. I went to the local Kinko’s to fax the form for my flight ticket, however, the fax machine was broken so I tore up the form and walked home.
I’ve been playing limited bits of poker lately. I’ve found a new hobby which has taken up most of my time and money. I can recommend it to anyone looking for a buzz. Take your life savings, pick a stock you have no idea about and buy that Mo Fo. In this economic climate where everything is crashing, it’s like playing American roulette; double zeros = more fun.
Otherwise when all else fails, I retreat to the cinema. I saw Ironman.
When I grow up, I want to be as cool as Robert Downey Jr. He has it all, movie star good looks, money, drugs and women. At one stage of the movie he even tips the barman $100. Oh, and I forgot to mention he can fly and shoot laser beams out of the palms of his hands.
Downey is great but what about the rest of the cast?
Some spastic over at the casting office decided to get that tramp Gwyneth Paltrow to play Downey’s assistant. Downey has a sudden fit of his own syndrome and chooses Paltrow over Leslie Bibb EVEN THOUGH he had Bibb eating out of the palm of his hand in the opening sequence of the movie. No wonder they classify these movies as fiction.
Tough choice Downey, which is it going to be?
Downey 10/10 casting -5. Total score: 5
May 30th, 2008 at 11:23 pm
downey is downie obv.
pls post more obv.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
“Downey has a sudden fit of his own syndrome”
Twas subtle… I could see how Jonny missed it
But his second point is well made…