JETHRO HOROWITZ

As I sit here in an Internet cafe pretending not to notice the guy sitting next to me’s best efforts to discretely jerk off to internet porn, I can’t help but wonder where it all went wrong.

I suppose it all started yesterday when my laptop blew up. If I had a cent for everytime I was warned to shutdown my computer properly, I would have 18 cents. I still managed to fuck it up, and I paid the price. After much shouting and a lot of sobbing, I am still depressed.

I know everything has a reason and things happen for the best. I also know, the good lord works in mysterious ways. What I don’t know is: What good can come from the mysterious lord blowing up my computer? Perhaps it is a sign not to play the WCOOP tourney on stars?

It turns out that it meant I lost all my computer files and had to travel to an internet cafe to lose $500 in a WCOOP tourney.

Last time I had a problem with my laptop…

Another dissapointing happening which occured this week was the whole WCOOP 25% deposit bonus saga. I was broke on neteller and fulltilt after emptying them out during my horror month of June. I decided to cash in a favour from Yoyo and get him to send me 1k on Fulltilt in exhange for stars money. 10 minutes later I was cashed up on fulltilt and all I needed to do was click cashout and it would go to my neteller, and from neteller it could be deposited into stars and I would have a healthy bonus ready to claim.

Of course I was excited to have money on FT again and what harm could come from browsing the site? 15 minutes later I was broke on FT and on fullsteamingtilt. I cashed out of stars so I could re-deposit onto FT to have another crack at the games; thus making my stars deposit bonus void. I am the worst.

Anyway, not all is bad. I got some comic releif from the clowns on jokernetwork. In a post titled ‘Card Academy Question’ some seriously dumb comments are made which had me chuckling all day.

I also have a movie review for everyone. Let me first say that I was very surprised by the lack of appreciation I got from my ‘Ultimate Boring Crap’ review. Where is the love?

Rogue Assasin

A Jet Lee promise is as solid as Makaybe Diva loan (too harsh?). After possibly the greatest Chinese film of all time ‘Fearless’, Lee swore never to do another Kung-Fu film. A year later he is involved in yet another dissapointing film where he plays a cheesed out Hollywood character. I still haven’t decided whether ‘Unleashed’ is worse.

Agent Crawford is a washed out cop who lets work take over his family life. This results in long boring marital conversations with his wife. Even the Kung Fu scenes are lame. At the final showdown, Lee and the other dude who is about 150, have the most boring conversation in the world, while fighting.

But what about the script? Surely that saves the film? You decide.

Uniformed cop guards the crime scene. Agent Crawford enters.
Uniformed cop: “You can’t come in here”.
Agent Crawford: Flashes badge, gives stupid look , “FBI”

Local fat cop: “I’m looking forward to working with you”
Agent Crawford: “The only thing you’ll be looking for is my shirt at the dry cleaners”
Local fat cop: “God dam it! Who gave you authority?”
Agent Crawford: Gives especially stupid look. “The Mayor, the President, take your pick”.

0-10

Next week’s post will be much more cheerful. Going to win a few WCOOP’s.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 19th, 2007 at 1:52 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.