A Railer’s Education
Yesterday morning I was woken several times by my girlfriend’s inability to sleep. “It’s too hot; it’s too noisy” is all I can hear as I try to knock myself out using the bedpost as anesthetic. After an hour of her violent tosses and turns, I jump out of bed and am ready to kill. I wanted to play poker, but the last time I played on full steaming tilt was in June where I lost the amount equivalent to a small Diddy get together.
I threw caution to the wind, picked up the laptop and burnt through $3000 like a stick of butter on a hot summer’s day. In an effort to distract the tilt monster, I logged onto full tilt to rail some $1000-$2000. I find railing sooths my itchy nerves. If you are a first time railer, I recommend a smaller game to rail because you might fall into the trap of common railer chat mistakes. I laugh at newbie railer chat “Is this real money!!??” “Who is Sbrugby?” “Can I borrow $5?” I’ve been railing for sometime now and my chat is much more profound. When a player loses a big pot, I like to say “WOW OMFG.” “LOOOOL.” Sometimes I even offer advice when a player has a big decision to make.
Anyway, the railing helped because I got back my money. This week I’ve also been making side-bets.
It is at this point in the blog I would like to thank my parents for spending hundreds of thousands of dollars on my education. I was always told as I was growing up that I would use my education to make much much more. Well, this week I made $20 off Marcus when I bet him that ‘sidle’ was a word. I also made $50 off Marcus’s friend who bet me that he could pick Evian water from a line up of 5 different water glasses. If you are reading this, a shout out to Mr. Fitzimmons my science teacher, for teaching me that water is H2O. If only Marcus’s friend had a better science teacher.
In fact, I will bet anyone that they can not pick Evian water from 5 different water glasses. I offer 1:1 odds
September 12th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
What odds you offering on evian water bet…
September 13th, 2007 at 10:45 am
Ah Jethro, you’ve still got a ways to go to make back the $200 you lost at home trying to pick Dairy Farmer’s milk from No Frills milk. Not to mention the $50 you lost trying to pick Maldon salt from regular table salt.
I lost $100 once betting that a fish was a reptile. My opponent and I then looked up ‘reptile’ in a science dictionary. It said:
“A reptile has four distinguishing characteristics:
1) has a backbone (yes, indeed)
2) is cold blooded (lock it up)
3) has scales (better get your wallet out, buddy)
4) is not a fish.” (son of a bitch - that’s goddamn discrimination)